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It’s not about them, it’s about you!

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It's summer time which means it's....wedding season! You can tell by all the T.V programming: Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, and Bride Wars to name a few. What many of these shows have in common is drama. I suppose that is what keeps the ratings up.  Despite all the yelling and tantrum throwing as seen on these programs, a wedding is a beautiful time for two people to show that they are committed to each other as witnessed by their friends and family.

But then how do you keep the stress levels even? If you're a bride to be or even a groom to be those involved in the wedding (and even those not involved) can cause your blood pressure to soar. I was recently married and it was a fairly drama free event. My advice on this matter is to decide what you what and stick with it. Family members are always going to have an opinion and friends love to give their two cents when decisions are to be made.

My husband, then fiancé and I really just wanted a small wedding. Having family around  is nice, but the extra expense and the overwhelm felt by large groupings did not appeal to us. We decided just immediate family which ended up being just ten guests. Perfect! Some family members seemed a bit disappointed by not being invited, but they soon got over it. The stress we did feel was when we were wavering about the guest list. Should we invite more? Won't they get upset if they aren't allowed to come? But when we stuck to our guns and followed through with our initial decision, calm came.

A kind of mantra that I would repeat in my head whenever "outside" stress threatened was, It's not about them, it's about you! For it to feel like a happy occasion and for my soon to be husband and myself to enjoy the event and the vacation, (yay Honeymoon!) we needed to be a bit selfish. Besides it was us that were getting married and not all our family and friends, so our opinions were the most important.

And if you are the one dishing out the non-solicited opinions, remember it's not your special day - its' theirs!

Sarah Gaudette
Paradise Therapy
Stress Relieving Tips

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